So Delhi is a crazy, noisy,dusty city and we found that out on Day One. And it's a beautiful city with secluded green oases (for the well-heeled) and far, far more amazing and historical buildings than you could shake a stick at.

Ravi the driver was a welcome sight in the morning, arriving to pick us up for a day of sightseeing and shopping. He took less of a kamikaze approach to Delhi's traffic than the guy that picked us up from the airport, which is just as well because our miniature travelling pharmacy of what-if drugs does not include tranquilisers.

We started out by going to India's wonderfully impressive avenue of Government buildings- Parliament and ministries flank the approach to the President's house. That's me standing in front of the gates which apparently Lutyens copied from some he'd seen in Chiswick. Lucky he hadn't had in mind something from the tube in Brixton, really. These are rather gorgeous and would look quite good on our place in Greenhithe although I still wouldn't be able to park my car at the right angle to close them.

There would have been fewer monkeys stalking around in Chiswick- also the case in Greenhithe. These simians were so sour-faced that they must surely be reincarnations of the sort of lower level bureaucrat that sends you back to the end of the 45- minute queue because you ticked the wrong box on Question Two.

Delhi, incidentally, is also the City of Dogs: I narrowly avoided tripping over one in the street last night and they are everywhere. Not doing much. No barking, whining, fighting. Never heard of a pat. Dog roll? That's what happens when you get too close to a hurtling tuktuk. Avoiding eye contact. Best to keep out of trouble and humans are definitely trouble in Dog City.

That's a Delhi Dog itching its fleas in the remains of a mosque built in 1494. In 1936 Lady Willingdon thought it would be a frightfully nice spot for some gardens and it was just too bad about the 2 villages that were in the way. The guidebook I've purloined from the Auckland City libraries does not elaborate on the fate of the removed villagers but the good folk of Delhi now have a nice place for dating and dalliance (Closes at 8 p.m. Sharp. Daylight dalliance only.) I hope things turned out well for Rajesh and Manju.

We spent the rest of the morning at the National Museum, mostly marvelling over the gorgeousness of miniature paintings, which deserve a whole separate posting. I suppose it is admirable that the museum is trying to keep its carbon footprint to the minimum but switching off so many of the lights does make it hard to see some exhibits. However, it was light enough to note that the average exquisite Indian goddess wore a generous C cup and there are both lithe and handsome young Indian gods (that Vishnu was Vi-dreamy) and also cute ones with round tummies.

Lunch was at the Lodi Gardens (Rereata quite taking to the daybed-with-floaty-curtains) and our vote was for the Pink Drink featuring cranberry juice and mint leaves.

In the afternoon we went Shopping. First to a near-deserted luxury emporium with icy AC and legions of overly helpful staff.

"We're going to look at scarves."

"Let me show you this silk carpet."

We fled to another place under the arches of a flyover (Shake, shake, thud, thud. "That's a bus- it's OK, we are being here 45 years.") where we enjoyed buying Indian clothes, in my case being measured by a small withered-looking tailor who is probably trundling away on the side seams at this very minute. Well, he drew the line at measuring the circumference of my upper thigh and Rereata and I had to fumble around in the changing room. Looking forward to delivery of custom-made outfit in tasteful green.

Then it was back to Yatri House and a long discussion with the urbane and very helpful Sanjay. He's been running a guesthouse since 1982, so he's seen everything tourists can throw up. Not literally,one hopes. He's given us a lot of good advice, which has panned out well so far. You need a lot of time and energy to find your own way in India, especially if you are just 2 innocent wee Kiwis.

Unfortunately, the popularity of Sanjay's enterprise meant that we had to transfer to a another guesthouse run by his buddy. Even more unfortunately , Ravi the driver misunderstood and took us to the guesthouse run by Sanjay's wife. We unpacked, had showers and went out to dinner. In the middle of masala dosa (yum) in a jumping South Indian restaurant in the Defence Colony market, Sanjay suddenly materialised ("I was in the area"- nah, he's one of those astral projection type gurus I suspect) and explained that we would have to transfer again to the right place.

After our tuktuk driver had got lost enough to have had to ask the way 3 times, we went back and did this. Luckily our 3rd room in 3 days is very nice and it remains to be seen whether Ravi finds us again today. Not only is he going to drive us around Delhi some more but also many many miles around desert Rajasthan., starting Monday. Can't wait.